Cheating is something terrible that hurts people and destroys relationships. No wife, husband, partner or significant other should have to go through such an awful experience.
However, topics like this can be fun in a humorous context. There are many hilarious stories with “taboo” details that have become classic jokes. Not a strange thing – sometimes we humans need an unexpected punchline to bring out a genuine laugh.
When it comes to jokes and stories, they are usually fictional – exaggerated for the sake of surprise, which means that no one gets actually hurt.
That’s why I think the next story is oh so deliciously funny! The end is priceless, so hang on until then. I actually couldn’t stop laughing!
I hope you find it as funny as I did!
One day, a wife gets off work earlier than expected. After arriving home, she finds her husband in the bedroom having passionate sex with a gorgeous, much younger woman. The wife is, of course, enraged by this – screaming with tears in her eyes:
“You disgusting pig! How dare you do this to me – I’ve been a faithful wife. I’m the mother of your kids!! I’ll have your ass in court! I’m getting a divorce!!”
Trying to explain to his wife
The husband, obviously shaken, answers:
“Hold on baby! I can explain! At least give me a chance to clear things up!”
The wife, still very upset, says:
“Okay then. Let’s hear it, but these will be the last words you ever say to me without a lawyer!”
The man then says:
“I was driving home, and then I saw this young lady asking for a lift. She looked so depressed, sad, and dirty, that I felt sorry for her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very skinny, her clothes were shabby, and the smell, oh god the smell!
“She told me she hadn’t eaten anything in the past three days. So out of compassion, I took her home and warmed up the steak I made for you yesterday, the one you didn’t eat because you are watching your figure. As you said right before you headed for ice cream smoothies with your friends.”
Things she didn’t use anymore
The husband continues:
“The poor thing devoured the food like it was the most delicious meal of her life. Since the smell was still a problem, I suggested she take a shower. So while she was washing, I saw that her clothes were basically rags, so I threw them away and gave her those designer jeans that I got you for your birthday but you didn’t use because you don’t have a matching purse.
“I also gave her the underwear that you got from me on our wedding day and that you no longer use because you think my taste is lousy. Then I found that blouse my sister gave you last Christmas and you never wear just to fuck with her.”
“Remember the expensive boots that you bought last year with my credit card, but don’t use because your colleague also has them? This girl doesn’t have that problem, so I thought she could have them.”
The man took a breath and continued:
“She was so grateful that I helped her out. But when she was about to leave, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and asked: ‘Is there anything else than your wife no longer uses?”
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